More blue eyes

Did you know there is another girl around here with beautiful, big, blue eyes?
Meet Reese Julia.
She is a roly-poly little thing, smiles and laughs a lot even if she doesn't sleep a lot, about to turn nine months old next week. She is also about to head to The Children's Hospital in Denver tomorrow. This is nothing new for her, but what is new is that this time she will be the patient. You see, since Anya has retinoblastoma in both her eyes, it is genetic and that means our sweet Reese could have it too. Tomorrow Reese will be put under anesthesia so the ophthalmologist can take a close look into her eyes. To say I am dreading the procedure is to put it lightly.
Just over two weeks ago we did this same procedure, Exam Under Anesthesia or EUA, with Anya. The whole process was difficult and leaving her in the OR was simply terrifying for me. The waking was even worse as Anya was completely disoriented, couldn't open her eyes, cried and squirmed, could understand us, yet couldn't respond. That lasted for about half an hour until she fell back asleep in my arms. When she woke again another half hour later she was more herself, although still very upset and agitated. Will and I felt very unprepared for this as we had asked the anesthesiologist what to expect and he said that every child is different and he couldn't answer that question. The nurses, however, told us that how Anya was reacting was very normal, even mild compared to some children who wake up kicking and screaming.
Now where Anya has generally always been a mild, mellow child, Reese has not. Early on I claimed that she has an intensity about her that is uniquely her own. I guess she showed us that on her first day of life when she was nearly born in the car! I am prepared tomorrow for Reese to be in the kicking and screaming category. It won't be easy.
I am so focused on getting through the exam that I am not really processing the possibility of what the doctor will tell us afterward. Isn't two children with cancer just too much for one family to have to bear at one time?